my sword's sentient? he talks and flies and fights by himself. and he gets more dates than i do. his name is jack and he's cool. apart from the selena gomez remixes.
i'm a bold guy. but i'm not entirely sure how to take that compliment. insult?
he's here. he's just usually camouflaged, because it freaks people out to see a homeless dude with a sword. i'll introduce you guys sometime, sure. he'll be psyched you're a selena fan.
[Why are his friends Like This, Archie's going to die tbh. But Magnus is not actually Jughead, and Archie definitely hasn't known him since they were both literally in diapers, so he can't just like... impose... but he wants to so bad please let him be Useful and Help?? Please]
ur really ok with living in a tent?? we could make room in the apartment it'd be nbd
i actually lived in tents a lot before i was even homeless. when i was alive. i'm really ok with it.
[he could continue being evasive, but Archie's probably asked after him the most in this respect. Magnus doesn't hate pity because it's a weak emotion or something -- he hates it because nobody usually does anything, after feeling it. they just go, ah me oh my, that's too bad, and return to their lives feeling slightly more holier than thou than before, like the impulse to care about something besides themselves was enough]
[but Archie isn't like that. he'd offered help and followed through, time and time again]
and i'm with a friend from valhalla, who showed up recently.
[A 2 letter text that took literally minutes to send because Archie sat there fretting the whole time. He feels like he's not doing enough: Magnus is great, and he deserves a bed and air conditioning and running water. A refrigerator. Video games... (The important things.)
[blinks, because -- he's never had to talk about this with anybody before, given Valhalla's public nature of introduction (and the amazing spectacle of Alex's arrival). would Alex want him to keep his business his business? would he rather Magnus help deflect a bunch of annoying questions about his gender? was he supposed to keep the shapeshifter thing mum, he didn't mention it on the network, after all?]
[Magnus decides: it's Archie. Alex is gonna like him, because Magnus does, and for the same reasons. so he'd rather help them make good impressions on eachother, than be secretive]
yes, but that has nothing to do with the other thing. nice intuitive bullshitting.
he's trans and genderfluid. he'll let you know if you mess it up, but you should ask if you don't know what to call him.
[Archie Andrews has an active imagination and reads way too many comics, okay. Way too many.
But while he might not be the Most Woke he also, especially for a frat boy in-the-making from small-town USA, has an aggressively open mind.]
oh cool [That sounds dumb. He sounds dumb. Like not that he's usually worried about being profound but he wants Magnus to know he's not gonna make things weird and he doesn't know how to express that without Making Things Weird so like...] is he gonna come to the concert too?
[and while Archie is low-key fretting, Magnus is... also low-key fretting. he decides to take his own advice and ask Alex after he's done chatting with Archie, how to handle talking about his gender]
yeah, definitely.
[Arche you nailed it, Magnus doesn't think you made it weird at all -- you just treated Alex like a person, which is what Magnus is looking for]
you're our DD, and he's coming to make me look underdressed and dorky, probably.
[Archie "never leave the house without a cardigan" Andrews maybe is not the best judge of what's actually cool tbh... but Magnus has a Vibe ok and we should all be supportive!!]
but u need me to like actually drive right i dont have a car or a license
[he tries to think of the least alarming way to put this]
if we end up passing out or falling into some divine trance or whatever, dragging us out of the mosh pit or keeping us from doing weird crap? just keeping an eye on us. like we were drunk.
i know it's kind of a lot to ask, but i don't want to break a promise with a death goddess?
[Okay so that's a little bit alarming but to be fair it's not like people don't get up to Weird Crap at his and Reggie's parties. And it's Magnus!!! So obviously he's gonna do it.]
don't worry i got this
[and then........]
what do people wear to metal god concerts
[be careful or he Will show up in his dumb letterman jacket and embarrass everyone]
i dunno. i'm wearing whatever. i think you should wear your letterman jacket.
[he'll be so pissed if some Unexpected Mythic Bullshit happens and Archie gets hurt. also, he doesn't know what people wear to concerts, even if he's been to a bunch. clothes are a complete mystery]
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[how drunk was archie that he doesn't remember?]
my sword's sentient? he talks and flies and fights by himself. and he gets more dates than i do. his name is jack and he's cool. apart from the selena gomez remixes.
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but kinda cool i like it??
very u
[the entire night was a blur. the ENTIRE night]
selena gomez is ok!!
do i get to meet him that's so cool
or is he not here
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he's here. he's just usually camouflaged, because it freaks people out to see a homeless dude with a sword. i'll introduce you guys sometime, sure. he'll be psyched you're a selena fan.
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wait I thought u said u were staying at a friend's house???
what do u mean homeless dude
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[aw fuckin norns]
i moved out? it was only temporary i told you that.
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[Why]
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in a bucket????
[how do you play video games in a tent omg]
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[YOU DON'T YOU FOOL why do you think he's so hype to come play with you]
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ur really ok with living in a tent??
we could make room in the apartment it'd be nbd
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[he could continue being evasive, but Archie's probably asked after him the most in this respect. Magnus doesn't hate pity because it's a weak emotion or something -- he hates it because nobody usually does anything, after feeling it. they just go, ah me oh my, that's too bad, and return to their lives feeling slightly more holier than thou than before, like the impulse to care about something besides themselves was enough]
[but Archie isn't like that. he'd offered help and followed through, time and time again]
and i'm with a friend from valhalla, who showed up recently.
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[A 2 letter text that took literally minutes to send because Archie sat there fretting the whole time. He feels like he's not doing enough: Magnus is great, and he deserves a bed and air conditioning and running water. A refrigerator. Video games... (The important things.)
But if he says he's okay...
See: minutes.]
oh yeah i saw him on the network
*or her
[Alex is a gender neutral name and it was text!!]
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he's usually female, but he's a guy today. alex is great, and a way better dead viking hero than me.
[who needs a bed and air conditioning and running water and a refrigerator and video games when you've got a friend? (or, counting Archie, two?)]
you should definitely get to know him. he's the coolest person i know.
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wait
???
im confused
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about what? sorry, did you think you were the coolest person i knew?
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he's usually female
??
[then: A SMALL, IRL GASP]
wait
is he a shapeshifter???
[comic book dimensions are so cool????]
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[Magnus decides: it's Archie. Alex is gonna like him, because Magnus does, and for the same reasons. so he'd rather help them make good impressions on eachother, than be secretive]
yes, but that has nothing to do with the other thing. nice intuitive bullshitting.
he's trans and genderfluid. he'll let you know if you mess it up, but you should ask if you don't know what to call him.
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But while he might not be the Most Woke he also, especially for a frat boy in-the-making from small-town USA, has an aggressively open mind.]
oh cool [That sounds dumb. He sounds dumb. Like not that he's usually worried about being profound but he wants Magnus to know he's not gonna make things weird and he doesn't know how to express that without Making Things Weird so like...] is he gonna come to the concert too?
[#nailed it]
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yeah, definitely.
[Arche you nailed it, Magnus doesn't think you made it weird at all -- you just treated Alex like a person, which is what Magnus is looking for]
you're our DD, and he's coming to make me look underdressed and dorky, probably.
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kinda 90s
its vintage
[Archie "never leave the house without a cardigan" Andrews maybe is not the best judge of what's actually cool tbh... but Magnus has a Vibe ok and we should all be supportive!!]
but u need me to like actually drive right i dont have a car
or a license
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[he tries to think of the least alarming way to put this]
if we end up passing out or falling into some divine trance or whatever, dragging us out of the mosh pit or keeping us from doing weird crap? just keeping an eye on us. like we were drunk.
i know it's kind of a lot to ask, but i don't want to break a promise with a death goddess?
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don't worry i got this
[and then........]
what do people wear to metal god concerts
[be careful or he Will show up in his dumb letterman jacket and embarrass everyone]
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[he'll be so pissed if some Unexpected Mythic Bullshit happens and Archie gets hurt. also, he doesn't know what people wear to concerts, even if he's been to a bunch. clothes are a complete mystery]
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